FAMILY TREES

NICOD

VIOLET FLORENCE

( 2 April 1903 --- January 1983)

Our Vi

At about my teenager time, I see in my mind a picture of Mother in a blue dress patterned in small white flowers. She was a strongly built, tall buxom woman with well made thighs, no lightweight but softly rounded and very feminine in appearance. She had neat shapely hands and small square feet. Even in middle age, she was quite light on her feet as I danced a few steps with her. In later years she suffered from bunions and varicose veins. Dark curly hair, bright eyes, a straight neat shaped nose and generous mouth. With a very smooth, soft creamy skin her colouring was reddish across the cheeks and nose - a Nicod characteristic. Not afraid of hard work, she accepted the challenge of bringing-up five children and did not shrink from all the washing, ironing, food shopping and preparation, house cleaning etc. that it entailed.

Being brought up in a large family of 8 boys and 3 girls, it was an age when a woman's roll was seen as a homemaker, having and bringing up children. Woman did not share the same rights as men, did not have the vote and a married woman was considered the property or 'chattel' of a husband. So in the early part of Mother's life, no career was encouraged except to help with all the home chores whilst the men went out to work.

It must have been a very happy upbringing with parents who enjoyed all the fun that large families can bring and the father holding a responsible position in a large local engineering company (A Reyrolle).This enabled them to have a good standard of living and be well known and respected in the home town of Hebburn.

With brother Harold

So although Mother left school at fourteen, the comings and goings and interactions of a large and varied family background, provided to an intelligent woman, an education in itself and gave her a broad understanding and insight of people and life. She knew that the best thing to achieve was a family and all the fun and interchange that result from families and friends getting together. As a young person, I understand she enjoyed social activities, dancing and playing tennis.

Perhaps some of the French family way of life was strong within her(the Nicod Grandfather was French). Enjoyed being together at meal times with families and friends, sitting discussing all sorts of matters with much amusement and laughter.

She loved homely get-togethers - the preparation, baking and cleaning always caused a few problems and tempers sometimes lost but usually it worked-out. Marsie forever serving-up to the ever hungry mouths. As we got older, Mother and Father were affectionately known as Marsie and Parsie. Maybe Ted started the trend.

Losing her own mother must have been a great loss. I vaguely remember the anguished activities. There was much sorrow - the will and all the home items that were discussed. Her brothers and sisters were not nearly so generous in nature. She always tried to find the good in everybody although she recognised the not so acceptable traits of people.

In our household, over the years, many many friends were made welcome and given the best of hospitality and lovely meals - always of the best. No effort she would say, being very generous in nature. My 21st party was no exception. Still laugh about it and some of the characters who came along. One asked in a very affected voice 'could he use the telephone to let his mummy know he'd be late'. Such an accent and in the 1950's when owning a telephone was a rarity. Ever after that 'Mummy's boy' was often referred to with giggles.

Often late at night, I would return with a few friends to supper and discussions. Mother was always able to join in with college friends. Deep discussions were no embarrassment as she always had a good point of view taken from real life experiences. PhD's, BSc's, teachers, lawyers - no problem. One chap, had heard about a recent scientific development and asked if anyone knew what a Maser was. Mother quick-witted as ever. 'Oh yes, wor Nan's a mazer' (from the Tyneside song). This reduced everyone to tears of mirth.

In modern parlance, Mother was very street wise and had a great deal of insight into what people thought. There was also a kind of innocence because Victorian upbringing suppressed freedom of women's ideas and ambitions. She appreciated good things and had a particular interest in china and pottery - always looked for the unusual thing and had some lovely vases. Generally, quite kind and friendly, very feminine and always looking for the romantics in life.

Everyone that was anyone in Hebburn was known to Mother and she could always recount a good story about families and friends who lived in the neighbourhood. In later life, the Evening Chronicle provided a great source of interest 'Eeh Jack, guess who has died' was a familiar exclamation. At the church for her funeral, there was a huge turnout for one of the 'Standards of Hebburn' as they would say.

In the post war years, having five children to cope with and absolutely no spare money, times at home were not always easy. Although an astute, resourceful and determined person, at times, Mother was at her wits-end which often manifested itself in her handing-out a whack or two with her hand. She was quite a volatile person and would persuade by force and fear rather than coercion. This would make for an unhappy household at times. Maybe her understanding of difficult teenage children was to discipline rather than be close and listen to young fears and trepidations.

New Year's Eve was a great favourite - great basin of home-baked buns, jacketed potatoes, meats, salads, cakes, drinks.

All done for the spirit of goodwill.

In their evening of life, I was saddened to see only Mother and Father left as most of her contemporaries had died or drifted away and families had split-up and moved elsewhere. Such were the trends. They seemed to stand apart, a generation away, looking into a fast changing society and wondering who and what was taking its place.

Being quite intelligent and far-seeing herself, she encouraged schooling and education and was adamant that the girls were given the same opportunities as the boys. No doubt she felt that given the spur in her young days, she could quite well have made a career in some profession. This drive to better all her family led to much unrest in the household as Father was not one to be out of pocket because of Grammar school fees or reveal earnings in pursuit of educational grants - especially for daughters. Such was the quaint Victorian attitude that prevailed long after the Second World War years.

Her efforts were not in vain as all five children went to either Grammar school or what was then called Central school ( a secondary school for children showing above average intelligence but of a more practical nature ). This was against a background where the school selection system called the eleven plus, was an absolute disgrace in that area and is a story in itself.

Great occasions in those school years were the summer days at South Shields beach. There was a gathering of members of a few related families and friends. A couple of children would bus down early to get a beach tent and chairs set up. Then would follow Mother with other family and friends carrying lots of bags and biscuit-boxes full of delicious home-baked food. A grand circle of deck chairs was formed and a good time was had by all.

Liked a good meal. Sunday dinners were excellent - roast with all the vegetables very tastily done.

Enjoyed a holiday, whist, bingo, socials. Not alcoholic get-togethers although the men had their share. Entertained and organised 'sewing parties' as they were called to keep-up a tradition of Pelaw Maine Methodist church. I recall lots of 'well made' aunts and cousins sat around and enjoyed a fish and chip supper. They collected and made things for the Church of St John in Hebburn.

Memories that stand out:

Mother waiting to meet me after a journey from the South - quietly knitting. Always a pan of broth for a welcome. Whilst she was alive, I wore only her home-knitted jumpers which were beautifully made.

On one of my last visits to her, I waved goodbye. Mother at the front door looked a little white around the mouth I thought. The old joke about 'See you in a couple of months. If I'm here. You'd better be'!

In hospital, dressed in a pink and white cardigan with beautiful complexion - very very feminine. Smooth and soft, just pink. Surrounded by her family, softly spoken, clear minded, worried about her mind wandering during the last few days. The effect of medicines seemed to produce hallucinations - she was aware of them and realised how mixed up she was but could not stop herself.

Near last words to Father: 'We are getting old you know'

A remarkable person. (Terry)

Memories of Mother by Rosemary

Marsie was a tall, dark woman with marvellous skin and hair. In her younger days she was said to be good-looking.- very much the 'Nicod ' look. She worked very hard for her family on little money and only because of her skill and knowing the value of every penny, she was able to produce meals fit for a king from six pennyworth of bacon bones and a pound of split peas.

A wonderful cook, we never knew what it was to have bought bread, cakes or pies. Her Sunday dinners, particularly the roast potatoes, will be a lasting memory with all of us.

Jack, Vi and Harold at Evenwood.

A very hospitable person, her door was always open and the table laid. Nothing was too much trouble. Generous to a fault and with amazing energy, she was always able to keep the house in decent order. Although she loathed the chores, the house was cleaned from top to bottom each Friday and always a roaring fire in cold weather to welcome us home.

The work load continued well into the evening with never any time to relax. Sewing and knitting all of our clothes, her beautiful handiwork is still in evidence to this day. Even the floors were covered with her hand made rugs called 'clippy' mats. (I was never allowed to help with the hooking of the material through the sacking which required a certain skill, but delegated to cutting the strips of material). All this going on to the accompaniment of a classic radio play or 'Grand Hotel' which was a music programme. I don't know if other members of the household were influenced by these events but I first heard many of Somerset Maughan's plays and the Anthony Trolopp serials on a Sunday night.

Easter (as well as Christmas) was very exciting for me as she always managed to purchase new sandals and red hair ribbons and maybe some chocolate.

I remember well the Queen's coronation for which she had knitted me a red, white and blue cardigan, the same coloured ribbon and a lovely china commemorative mug as presents.

Later, when everyone else had left home, there was always great joy and lots of excitement and preparation if there was an impending visit from any of her flock. Nothing was ever too much for the family homecomings, the table always laid with lovely food and beautiful china.

Whilst she was fun, jolly and humorous, with a quick wit, she also had quite a violent temper and with the kindness, also came the 'clouts'. These were with hand or anything that came to hand, be it stair rod, dishcloth and even a dinner plate on one occasion.

Freddy Nicod, who was often in our house, recalls how once, he was beaten over the head with the broom handle by mistake as Mother thought it was Billy from behind.

Her frustration at trying to feed a household of seven in poor circumstances, was probably the cause of many of her rather sometimes biting verbal attacks but I always felt very sad and longed for her to be nice rather than constantly irritable.

There was never any demonstrative affection in the household, as this was the Victorian way of behaving. Being very strict, everyone received a 'clout' regardless of who was to blame for any misbehaviour. I can't speak for the rest of the family but to this day her ability to make me feel guilty about everything has had a lasting effect.

Mother loved flowers and would have loved a house with a garden. She was successful in the floral displays in the little front porch, particularly 'The Star of Bethlehem.' So beautiful was it one year that she put it outside in the tiny front garden and of course it was stolen, causing her much upset.

Always a keen card player, both she and Father attended many whist drives and invariably they won the evening's prize. Both were staunch Conservatives and Mother was always actively involved whenever the elections were held and helped to run the local Conservative Club.

Although their marital relationship went through various degrees of strain, in their later lives, my parents seemed somewhat closer and to all extents a lot happier. (Rosemary)

Sheila MacKenzie, a neighbour in Tennant St sent this:

January 2003

I have enjoyed the Cummings/Nicod site and have hesitated about writing for weeks, then just reading about your mum and you asking if anyone would like to add anything I thought I would like to add my memories. I will always remember your mother as very kind to me as a small child, I remember standing outside your back door as Rosemary was having a party, she took me into your home, brushed my hair, put one of Rosemarys ribbons in my hair and included me in the party. Another time I was going to a wedding and my mother had a pink wool suite made for me, but I was disappointed because I wanted a party dress, once more she made my day by lending me Rosemarys salmon pink satin dress, she was always so kind.

In later years my sister was able to have holidays with us in Oxfordshire and so I often heard how your mother was, Nancy said she was sad that Vi never got to visit Josie and the family in Mexico as it was always her dream.

I was sad when I heard she had died she was a lovely lady. (Sheila Craig nee McKenzie)

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